John 9:3-5
“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”

How often do we ask “why?” We go day to day wondering what we did to deserve the bad things that are happening to us. Why we were born into certain situations, why the cards we are dealt did not seem to give us the upper hand in anything.

One of my biggest struggles has been communication and building relationships. I look around and for some people it so easy to connect with others, keep that connection, and build upon it. I was jealous and didn’t understand why it was so hard for me. Maybe I have been connecting with the wrong people - which could be part of the case, but building a deeper relationship and trust is something that I have not been able to do.

Over the past few months I have taken a much deeper look at my “disconnection” with people. I knew in my head and heart a lot of the reasons that I allowed certain aspects of relationships (of any kind or level) to stress me is because I was disconnected with God. There are other more personal reasons that those stressors are there in the first place, but God is the only one who can get inside of me and begin healing me. I had not let that begin to happen.

I knew what I needed to do to fix my problem, but I did not want to face it. I had stayed busy for years, never slowed down, never stopped to look inside because I knew all of the emotions would come flooding and I couldn’t handle it. So I kept stuffing more and more into a bottle. Well, not very long ago that bottle burst. So at a time when I was most vulnerable, hurting and tired, years of feelings, emotions, memories and pains came flooding into my already fragile heart.

God had gently been trying to slow me down, so I would focus on Him but I did not. He had left me confused about where I was to step next, he then physically made me slow down by letting me become sick. When I refused to listen to the quiet, gentle voice of God and kept things in my own hands, I broke down. I humanly had no strength or leg to stand on - and though I wish it did not happen the way it did, it got my attention and I am thankful for that.

So let me tell you what I have learned:
God makes us all differently, our own personalities with different strengths and weaknesses. When we do not let God into our lives completely - by giving Him control to make us better and stronger, things continue to get worse in areas that we struggle, because those areas are not meant for us to fix on our own. I know that the only way I am going to be able to learn to love myself, let myself be loved and set boundaries is by letting God change my heart and give me the strength to take steps forward. By letting people know where I was and then where I am now because I “let go and let God” I am giving Him the honor and glory He deserves. I am letting His light shine through and allowing the “work of God to be displayed” in my life.

“Neither the man nor his parents sinned”, God is not punishing us - but He is using us to make a difference and to let his light shine through us.

What weaknesses do you have in your life that you can turn over to God for an opportunity to show His power?

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